Popkin (evilpopkin) wrote,
Popkin
evilpopkin

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Year One, in which Popkin Learns He's a Wizard and Thus Capable of Magical Things

So. I'm done my first year of college. I feel as if I should somehow be older and wiser for the experience, but I don't think I am. Maybe I'm not supposed to be, because maybe change doesn't come that easy. What I did gain, though, were a few lessons about myself. I've learned things that are both good and bad, things that I should work on and things that make me who I am. I guess if my first year at college did any one thing for me it was getting me closer to finding my identity than fours years of high school ever did.

I’ve learned that I’m capable of excelling academically. I’ve learned that I have the potential to become a good writer, but that I still have a long way to go developmentally. I’ve learned that I can make lasting friendships, but that they’re few and far between and that’s perfectly fine with me.

I’ve learned that I have no sense of financial responsibility. I’ve learned that I’m actually kind of ignorant when it comes to matters of race and culture. I’ve learned that I’m pretty terrified when it comes to new experiences.

I still have a lot to learn about relationships. I still don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I don’t know whether I should go all out for my dreams and risk utter failure or play it safe and work towards a career that promises money and independence. I still fear being that loser in his mom’s basement, and am working desperately to make something out of myself to prevent that.

All in all, my first year of college didn’t yield any major transformations. What it managed to do was put a lot of things in perspective. It showed me my strengths and weaknesses. It showed me my limitations and what I need to do to break through them. It showed me what’s possible when I apply myself, and what’ll happen if I grow complacent. I’ve got another three years ahead of me, and I’m not going to let them pass by uneventfully like I did with high school.
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